Kenapa Kita?

“Too many possibilities in this world and how could we become one?”

Kalimat itu terus berputar di kepala Dira. Bahkan ketika ia kini sedang dalam pelukan hangat seorang laki-laki yang begitu ia sayangi.

“Jakarta luas ya?”

Ucap sosok itu sambil memandangi luar jendela, hamparan kota dengan begitu banyak gedung tinggi terlihat di hadapan mereka.

“Hmm.” Sementara Dira hanya mengangguk sambil mengeratkan pelukannya pada pinggang laki-laki tersebut.

Begitu banyak pula harapan di luar sana.

Adalah apa yang Dira tidak ucapkan—tidak berani ucapkan. Dira menahan tangisnya kuat-kuat, ia tidak ingin segala yang ia pikirkan kemudian menjadi beban pikiran laki-laki tersebut.

“Too many possibilities in this world and how could we become one?”

Akhirnya pertanyaan itu terlontar dari mulutnya.

“Maksud kamu?”

“Ya..iya. Begitu banyak kemungkinan yang ada di dunia dan kenapa kita yang harus dipertemukan? Kita dengan berbagai masalah yang ada?”

“I think it’s just a fate?”

“What fate? Does fate even literally exist?”

“Kamu kenapa?”

“Aku kenapa? Dunia ini yang kenapa?” Tanya Dira begitu lirih, masih dalam pelukan laki-laki itu.

“Look. I never ask to met you, i even never ask you to love me. But then we just met, and boom...everything fell not into its place. Everything went wrong. I told you, many times, to stay away. To not seeing me again. But you always there. Until i give up and finally have a thought of ‘well maybe this is time to take a faith again’. But now? What?”

Dira mencurahkan segala resah yang sudah ia tahan selama beberapa minggu terakhir.

“I dont even know if you worth the fight? I dont even know what i stand up for? And why the fuck i’m still here? What am i really searching for? I’m very scared of the world. What does the world really plan for us?”

“Dir...”

“Terlalu banyak pertanyaan, Ga. Cant we just giving up?”

“Giving up? Is that really what you want?”

“Does what i want really matter now? I think there is fate which will just contror our life as it wants?”

“Cara kerja dunia ngga begitu, Ra.”

“Terus kamu tau gimana caranya? Spill it, then.”

“Me dont know neither. Tapi satu hal yang aku tau dan percaya, selama kita usaha, hasilnya ngga akan mengkhianati kita.”

“Really, Arga? Because it’s not working like that in my life. I love people, with all of my heart. I fight for them, i always stand for them. And you see? You see how they always leave me and betray me? Hasil ngga akan mengkhianati usaha? Well, Ga, at least in my case, let say i just never get the result of what i’ve fought for.”

“Kamu belum dapet hasilnya karna memang usaha kamu belum selesai, sayang. The world still want you to fight, to love many other people. Your fight hasnt done, Ra. And i think this is just another fights.”

Air mata mulai merebak di mata Dira, “We become one of all possibilities in this world, you asked me why? I ask it everyday, too. We are same, Ra. But the difference is, i never ask if you are worth the fight or what i stand up for. I always know that you will worth every fights, and i know i stand up for us; the pleasure of us being together.”

Air mata Dira akhirnya tidak tertahankan lagi. Untuk kesekian kalinya ia menangis di pelukan Arga.

“I know you’re scared, i know you lost your faith, i know this world is fucked up. But one thing, Ra, just never lose yourself.”

Raga melepas pelukannya dan menggenggam bahu Dira dengan kedua tangannya, menatap Dira tepat di kedua bola matanya, “And now, i want you to ask yourself, does she still want to be here and fight? Because if the answer is yes, then i’d be glad to accompany her fighting this fucked up world. And tell her, we might find the answer why we become one of all possibilities in this world, or we might not. But it’d be alright since we found each other in this very much possibilities in the world.”

“Now tell me, what she’s saying?”

Di ruangan segi empat dengan jendela kecil di dalamnya, dua individu yang memiliki masa lalu masing-masing, dua individu yang memiliki perasaan masing-masing, berusaha saling menguatkan; saling menggenggam tangan erat-erat. Dua individu itu sama-sama ketakutan, namun mereka yakin pada satu hal. Keyakinan yang akan terus mereka genggam bersama dengan kasih antara mereka.

I know now, sometimes it’s not about the world. But sometimes it’s about a person that means a world. And for me, that is you.

(source: weheartit.com)